Boys!

Listen up, boy! I am fixin' to go on a tear.

Last night my lovely, delightful, smart, gorgeous, funny best friend came up for dinner. And, as she told her latest tale of boy-dumbness, I found myself hating boys.

Now, for the record, I don't mean the sweet, endearing helpful kind - like my husband, and brother-in-law and my friends (some of them) .

What I mean, is the kind of guy that thinks is it totally cool to not have a salary at 26. The kind of guy who thinks it is really funny to be demeaning towards women. The kind of guy that considers beer more important than being sober while giving his vows.

There are some things I can forgive. For instance, always throwing your clothes 8 inches from the laundry basket... that I can forgive. But, telling someone who is a SIZE 2 that he "likes bigger girls," is a shit thing to do. Allowing your parents to make fun of your girlfriend, not ok. Saying you can't come to Christmas because you are on call and having dinner with another girl, deplorable.

But... what is a girl to do?! We are raised to be attracted to exciting men. And men who put the clothes all the way in the basket... well... they aren't that exciting.

But, exciting only gets you so far. All highs, come with lows. And lows equal ass holes! The guy that tries to take you home from the bar when you are three drinks in... he's not "the one!"
Marriage is a blessing, but it is hard work. It is not romance and candles every day. It is the steady, thoughtful consistency of life. So you need to pick someone that you want to be your friend for a very long time.

So, I beg you mothers... raise your sons well (we'll get to daughters another day - I need more time). Teach them to be kind and self-sufficient. Teach them to be considerate and aware. And, most importantly, teach them to put their damn boxers in the hamper.

(You are worth it!)

What do you hate most about boys?
What do you looovvee most about boys?
DISH, ladies!

Read it!

For those of you who don't know... I am a reader. I love a good book. My current job requires me to take a train for 30 minutes into and out of the city each day. This hour is officially dedicated to reading. Over the past seven months, I have read a lot of books.

I also do not believe in the library. Not because I don't love libraries - I do. But because, I am really hard on books. I like to break in the spine every few pages. I am also notorious for not returning books on time.

Because of all of the reading and the lack of library visits (and the fact that my husband is also a reader), we have a lot of books. So if I peak your interest and you are lucky enough to live near me, swing by and borrow a few.

Because I fear this looks a lot like a best sellers list, I will keep my descriptions brief (you can read better ones on Amazon by clicking on the titles). Here are my current favorites (and a few I've always loved).


The Time Traveler's Wife
Audre Niffenegger
This is my new favorite book. It is a stunning story. I won't spoil any of it - but it is wonderfully written, touching and required a box of tissues (in a good way).


The Glass Castle
Jeannette Walls
This book is a memoir, but you would never know it. (In case you are a non-fiction-aphobe, like me.) In fact, I didn't until I finished it and noticed the cover said "a memoir."

The Reader

Bernhard Schlink
This is a book you will dwell on. I read it in high school and it is still at the top of my list. It makes you think long and hard about what is right and wrong.

Twilight

Stephanie Meyers

Ok... so I know this is a vampire book. Which immediately makes me hate myself for reading it. But this is a great book. I couldn't put it down. I read all 500 pages in 4 days. READ IT (with garlic).

Nineteen Minutes
Jodi Picoult
This is a very difficult book to read, as it is about a school shooting. This book is particularly troubling becuase by the end a part of you completely understands why he did it.

The Pilot's Wife
Anita Shreve
This book immediately has two strikes against it - one of the original Oprah's books and an unsuccessful prime time mini-movie. Give it a chance, and I am sure it will not let you down.

Water for Elephants

Sara Gruen

I read this on the advice of a co-worker. It didn't disappoint. A lot of what I read is about the extremes of life. This book, on the other hand, felt good. The book's main character, a man of 90'ish, reminded me of my grandfather and his great adventures.

The Memory Keeper's Daughter
Kim Edwards

What if...? This is a book that will keep you questioning one of life's great questions - what would I do if my child is not perfect. It is a very honest look at the choice one father makes and the life-long consequences.


What's your favorite book?
And, what should I read next?

it could be worse...

Lately, I have been down in the dumps.

In general, my life is pretty good. I have a wonderful husband. We have good jobs. We have a nice home. We have two adorable cats. We surround ourselves with interesting, funny, kind people (when possible).

But, some days, I have one of those days. The days were nothing seems right. When my lawn is brown and the cat just puked. Did he forget to take out the trash? Did I just lock myself out of the house? And, there goes the train....

These are the days when I say "shit" a lot under my breath.

You have enough of these days in a row and things start to look a little grim. And then, let's be honest folks, I have a miniature breakdown. Now as all great women know, this is a personal experience.

My best friend in college used to hyperventilate before finals week.

My mother went after depression with a can of frosting and a nasty letter (you didn't want to be on the receiving end of one of those letters).

I, well.... I am a crier.. a sobber... some might just call it blubbering...

I am not a quiet sniffler. I like people to notice me. "Hey! Over here! I AM HAVING AN EMOTION RIGHT NOW!!!"

And then just as quickly as it came on, it is over. And, as my husband ever so patiently reminds me, "it could be worse. You have made it through worse. You will make it through worse. So buck up, little buddy." (If you are wondering, he does in fact call me "little buddy.")

So as I sit here today contemplating my life, and all of the things I want and the things I wish I hadn't lost, I am reminded that things are not so bad. There is a cat on my lap purring softly. I will receive a kiss and a thank you for the pizza I will "make" for dinner. We have a weekend full of friends ahead of us. And, did I mention, my tomatoes are growing.

C'est le vie.


Share your melt-down style.
Too happy to melt-down? Tell us why.
(And, don't be shy, everyone should post more!!!)

Oh baby, baby!

Thanks to one of my favorite bloggers... see here... I am once again pondering the question of babies.

Oh fine... you've got me... I never stop thinking about babies - the adorable leg rolls, the sweet powder smell, the weight of a sleeping darling in your arms, the smiles and the giggles and....

Oh, right... reality - the diapers, the complete consumption, the sleeping (lack, that is), the weight, the mess, the fevers...

Here's the honest truth. I think I will be a pretty good mother. Not because I love children (which I do), or because I take great join in caring for others (which I do), or because I come from very good parenting stock (which I do). I think I will be a good parent for a completely unromantic reason. I love a good challenge. I at my best when tested. I love working really hard at important things and coming up with creative solutions. And, lord knows, if parenting is not the greatest life challenge that tests one's strength and demands creativity, I don't know what is.

And so, though I am still years from a baby, I think a lot about what it means to be a mom. I listen to my friends who are just starting to have little ones of their own. What are the trials. What are the tribulations. What works. What doesn't. I question my husband endlessly... What do you think about private schools? Breast feeding? Bike helmets? TV? Chores? Chores with allowance? Boyfriends? Drugs? College savings? Discipline? Nutrition? Booster seats for teenagers? (Anyone else think that law has gotten out of hand? I mean, it's a damn miracle we didn't all just fly out of the window while driving to Wal-Mart!!!)

Are you exhausted? I am. And, I am scared! What if I fuck up? Because ladies and gents, if there is one thing I believe with all of my heart, it is that children learn. They learn and learn and learn. Screwed up choices create screwed up children. You find a child who hits - I would put money on a parent who hits.

But, the problem is, we all know it is not always that obvious. One of the mothers I admire most talks a lot about accidental parenting. It basically boils down to this... Mom and Dad, when you feed your child the french fries and ranch they want every night, you are not only teaching your child how to get fat (very quickly), but also that they are in charge. I want us to wake up and pay attention to our children.

If you are not ready to parent - DON'T! Take down your "child at play" sign and go play on the swings with your kids. Turn off the tv and read your child a book or check their homework. Say no to the Nemo fruit roll-ups (unless they are also for your husband) and tell your kids to eat their peas.

So when will I be ready to parent? Not now. I like my life. I like being selfish. And, I think that is just fine. I also hope that in 4 or 5 or 6 (but then I am hitting 30... eek) years, it just happens. That I can make my husband a meal of baby shrimp and carrots like Becky did for Jesse.

Share your baby stories... Or, motherly wisdom... Or, parenting pet peeves...

Lost blogger, found alive!

For my loyal readers - I apologize. It has been too long. This month has been packed full of weddings and travel and work, on my! But, at last, as the holiday is upon us, I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Though I have many stories and opinions to hare, I can't help but wonder what all of you want me to talk about.

"What happened to Monday Meals?" I hear someone yelling from the wings.

"Didn't you used to be witty?" under the breath of another.

Alas, all I can do tonight is promise you what is to come. In the next seven days, I am committed to posting four times. Unless I receive a recommendation from the crowd (Crowd: please send recommendations), I will write on the following topics:

1. "A Woman's Endless Struggle" or "A shoe for every occasion"
   
   
2. "Oh Say Can You See... fireworks, Tania Treats, and the (above ground) pool party"
   
   
3. "A Wedding Remember (or forget)." Stories from this summer's matrimonial adventures and my personal opinion on all things frilly.
   
   
4. "Baby Crazy" or "My inner struggle against all-thing-snuggly and my-fabulously-selfish life"

Cast your votes today and stay tuned!