Into the door...

Today, I walked to the bathroom in my office. On autopilot, I put out my hand to push the door handle down, allowing me entrance. Alas, my hand was 1-inch to the right; I simply grazed the handle and walked face-first into the big heavy door.

I have trouble with doors. I collide with them frequently. Not because I am not the sharpest tool in the box (note to husband - keep mouth shut), but because no one can make a door that works. Or a handle that is intuitive. Or a label that is helpful.

Adam Carolla - famed host and comedian - feels my pain. A few years ago, he pointed out that "Push" and "Pull" are very similar words. If you simply glance their way, you will find yourself failing to get the door open. His advice, which I completely subscribe to, is that all doors should labeled "Shove" and "Yank". (For future reference, when your boss is struggling to push a door open, don't say, "It's a yank.")

There are the doors with sensors. At the grocery store the other night, I found myself (once again) with my face smashed into the glass. Listen sensor! If you are only going to open the door a third of the way and then stop, why bother at all?!

In my very fancy, Loop building we have a central bay of elevators that is separated from the office by a set of floor-to-ceiling glass doors on either side. To get from the elevator to your desk you swipe our little card, wait for the beep, and enter within 5 seconds. Things can be a little trickier on the way out. The doors have a motion sensor on the ceiling that "knows" when someone is coming and unlocks the doors. However, at least once a day, you hear a muffled curse as the sensor fails and someone walks directly into the door. After my first run-in (pun intended), I spent the next week approaching slowly and waiting for the small green light above the doors to allow me through. As if with a sick sense of humor, the first day I forgot to check - SMACK!


I also find bathroom stall doors challenging. (For the males in the audience - Yes, we have doors AND stalls.) Particularly in airports. Would it kill you to make a door that swings out? I am a small gal, and even I have trouble maneuvering around the door, smashing myself into the toilet, sucking in, shutting the door, and repeating the process on the way out. Try this with a roller bag or a baby.... forget it!

Do not get me started on screen doors. I know that I am not the only one that has ended up on top of the door face-down on the patio. I had a dog once that ran into a screen at full-speed. From that day on, he would bark at the door and approach with caution only when forced.

I beg you door makers, work it out. Make me a door that knows when I am there, opens both ways, and, above all, stops flattening my nose.


Share a story about a recent (good or bad) experience you had with a door.